


In the Crooks of Your Body

by Lady_Vibeke



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Bromance to Romance, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mpreg, Steelatom - Freeform, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, bros in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-08-22 19:33:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16604180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Vibeke/pseuds/Lady_Vibeke
Summary: "I mean... What sort of witch curses people to bear children?”





	1. In the crooks of your body

**Author's Note:**

> This is weird as fuck and I'm not even sorry. Read the tags, continue at your own risk. I'm in love with these two idiots and this story basically wrote itself out of nowhere. Go figure.

_In the crooks of your body, I find my religon.  
_― Sappho

 

*

 

Nate had been looking a bit off colour ever since the incident with the witch in the Black Forest.

He hadn't actually got injured or anything, because, truth to be told, the witch in question had proved herself to be a deplorably incompetent one (which had caused a fair amount of trouble among the folks who had turned to her for “help”), but for this exact reason she had been tough to beat: it was hard to plot a strategy against impredicatble attacks. You expected to be hit with a bolt of lightning? There came a giant sunflower crushing you to the ground.

In Nate's case, the hag had mumbled something about a terrible plague and struck him with an energy wave that had got Nate flying across the clearing to land on his back with a dreadful gush of breath.

Ray had picked him up and it had taken Nate a few soconds before he was able to stand on his own feet again.

“What the hell did that bitch mumble at me?” he had asked as soon as he'd regained lucidity.

“No idea,” Ray had replied, eyes full of concern. “A spell?”

Nate had clutched his stomach and huffed in pain, an arm slung over Ray's shoulders to keep himself steady. “Where's the charlatan in a trenchcoat when you need him?”

“You okay, man?”

Nate had taken a couple of breaths, grimaced a little, then had grumbled a quick _'Peachy'_ , and the fight had resumed until Constantine had finally showed up to kick the witch back to the hell she had come from. And that had been it.

After the mission, Ray asked Nate several times if everything was alright with him, but Nate always dismissed his apprehension with an eye roll and a nonchalantly flirtatious quip. Which was very reassuring for Ray, despite the lingering suspiscion at the bottom of his heart.

He couldn't help it: he cared about Nate – maybe a little too much, even for a shameless bromance like theirs – and he had to concede he could get overprotective, at times.

But not this time.

In the last few days Ray had noticed Nate had been acting rather quirky: it wasn't like him to be so unenergetic and letargic, and Ray was seriosuly starting to believe the witch's spell had caused him some kind of harm, after all.

His concern escalated when he found Nate on the library's floor, passed out on a pile of scattered books.

“Nate!” He rushed to him and tried to shake him awake as gently as he could. “Nate? Come on, man, wake up...”

Nate's eyes cracked open. He blinked at Ray confusedly, then squinted at the room as though he wasn't sure where he was.

“What are you guys doing on the floor?”

Ray turned to find Sara on the door, an amused grin painted across her lips. It vanished at once as soon as she noticed Ray's anxious face.

“Shit. What happened?” she asked, dropping to her knees next to them.

“I don't know.” Ray's breathing was frantic, his hands shaking over Nate's chest. “I found him like this.”

“Guys, I'm fine, I just- ” Nate was rambling, but Sara was already looking up at the ceiling: “Gideon? Can you run a full scan on him, please?”

“Sure, Captain.”

Gideon's reply was followed by a buzzing and a bue ray came down to run over Nate head to toe.

“There's no damage whatsoever in Doctor Heywood's body,” Gidoen announced, and both Ray and Sara exhaled in relief. “His blood, however...”

Ray looked down at Nate, pulse skyrocketing, and held his breath. The fear he saw in his eyes made his guts twist.

Blood was a very delicate subject, for Nate. His own blood, in particular – the nightmare he'd been living with since forever.

“What's wrong with his blood?” Ray urged, his voice tinged with nervousness.

Gideon continued her analysis, until, after a short pause, she just let out a surprised _“Oh”_.

Sara frowned. “ _Oh?_ ”

“There appears to be an anomaly in Doctor Heywood's hCG.”

“An anomaly?” Ray inquired alarmedly. His fingers were gripping Nate's shirt so tightly his knuckles were white, but neither of them seemed to be aware of it.

“Wait,” Sara cut in, rising to her feet. “He's not supposed to have hCG _at all_.”

“Hence the anomaly, Captain.”

“But he's _male_ and he's definitely not- ” A spark of shocked realisation replaced Sara's perplexity. “He _is_?”

“Affirmative.”

“ _What?_ ”

“Hello?” Ray waved from where he was kneeling with Nate on his lap. “Anyone care to explain?”

Sara turned slowly, gaping at Nate as though he'd grown another head or something. It took her a few attempts to finally be able to put the right words together: “Gideon says you're...” She pursed her lips and brought her hands to her hips with a light shrug. “Pregnant.”

*

There was a moment of stillness before the silence was broken by Nate's laugh.

“Haha, very funny!” He struggled to pull himself up, aided by Ray's providentially strong arms. He wasn't feeling exactly great, but whatever was wrong with him, there was no need to joke around it. “Seriously, guys: if I'm dying, you can tell me.”

Sara opened her mouth like she wanted to say something but nothing came out. She looked up, seeking help from Gideon, and in the same moment Mick appeared on the threshold, beer in one hand, and scanned to room curiously.

“Did I miss something?”

Nate saw Ray move his mouth incoherently and had to admit he had a hard time finding the words himself.

This was madness. Someone must have hacked Gideon and fucked up her system – and if that were the case, they were in serious trouble.

Yet, in a very dark and small corner of his conscience, Nate's thoughts kept straying to his recent health status: the lack of appetite, the constant waeriness, the sudden, inexplicable horniness he'd been experiencing in the most akward moments – like now. Oh, right now having Ray's marble tights irradiating heat right next to him was causing him a very bad case of hard on he was desperately trying to ignore.

 _Not now, broner_ , he scolded.

“We have a situation,” Sara was explaining, just as Constantine shouldered his way into the room, earning a glare from Mick, which he politely returned.

Apparently very interested, Constantine crossed his arms, brows arched. “A situation?”

“Doctor Heywood is preg- ”

“ _Nobody's pregnant!_ ” Nate yelled over Gideon's voice. “Gideon must have a glitch or- or _something_.”

“Or maybe you shouldn't have tried to face a witch without me.”

“Come on, John,” giggled Ray. “You can't possibly _believe_...”

“I have a Sight you lack, Handsome. I can see things you're blind to,” Constantine replied with a wink that made Ray blush like a schoogirl and Nate scoff loudly.

“You were cursed, my friend,” Constantine continued. He cast Nate a pitiful glance. “Wouldn't have happened if you'd had a powerful warlock to shied you.”

“Yeah, yeah, never fight magical beings without John Constantine, we get it,” groaned Sara. “Next time we're going to wait for you to come back from whatever you'd been doing before we go save the world.”

Constantine smirked. “Point.”

“Can we get back to the elephant in the room, please?” Nate blurted. Ray had helped him on his feet and he was struggling a little to keep himself stable. Which didn't mean anything. He was simply a bit stressed out. It was only a coincidence if he was feeling nauseous, all of a sudden.

He wasn't... _couldn't be_...

“If Nate really was cursed,” Ray begun tentatively, glancing back and forth from Nate to Constantine. “ _If -_ what would be the point of such a curse? I mean... What sort of witch curses people to bear children?”

“A very foolish, self-taught one. Rookie mistake. A classic. “ Constantine spread his arms and turned around to look at each of them. “This is what happens when you google witchcraft instead of turning to a real expert.” When he got to Nate, he chuckled and said mockingly: “I guess congratulations are in order?”

Nate really needed to throw up. Preferably in Constatine's face. “Fuck off, jerk.”

It was ridiculous. They were all pulling the sickest joke on him. There was no way he could actually be pregnant. First off, he didn't have the fundamental equipment to lodge a pregnancy; secondly, there was no damn outlet for a pregnancy... how was he supposed to give birth? Would the baby claw its way out through his belly?

Oh, and – thirdly – with whose child was he even supposed to be pregnant with?

Ridiculous. Exactly.

“You better watch your mouth, love,” Contantine replied with that insufferable presumptiousness of his. “If you want my help to take care of your little guest.”

Nate almost laughed at him. “Why would I need your help?”

“I'd like to watch a hot hunk like you walk into a hospital and ask for an abortion.”

Oh.

Nate froze, despite himself.

Somehow, the option of abortion hadn't even crossed his mind. He felt immensely stupid, now, for thinking Constantine was offering his help to _raise_ the kid.

Ralisation hit him like a truck.

Kid.

 _Kid_.

He absently placed a hand over his stomach, trying to feel something, and all he found was his usual solid abs.

Was there really something in there? Someone?

It was crazy to even consider the possibility, but he'd seen enough impossible turn to possible, in the last couple of years, that suddenly it didn't seem so unlikely anymore.

“We'd better do it quickly. If it grows too much, it will be painful to remove.”

Nate blinked, jolted back to reality by the echo of Constantine's words. He replayed them in his mind and blinked again, unable to quite grasp their meaning. “Remove?”

“We met the witch six weeks ago, right? So you're about six weeks, mate. Something's got to come out of there.”

Nate felt his knees buckle. Before he knew, Ray's hands caught him.

“It's okay, man. I got you. I got you.” Ray wrapped an arm around Nate's back and eased him down into the closest seat.

Nate felt sick. Not just in his stomach, but way deeper, at an emotional level he had never experienced before.

Were they seriously planning to cut him open and _remove_ what was growing inside of him just like that? Did anyone even care about how he felt about this whole thing?

“Maybe we should ask Nate what he wants to do?” Ray pointed out. He crouched down in front of him and scrutinised him closely with those big, puppy eyes oozing worry. “Are you okay?”

 _Ray_ , Nate thought, with a warm tingle in his chest. Of course Ray would care...

“No!” he snapped. His hands were shaking, so he clasped them together hoping no one would notice. “I'm so _not_ okay,” he sighed, and his voice broke mid-sentence. “How can I be okay? I'm- I'm- Oh, god, I'm gonna throw up.”

A bucket literally materialised between his hands and he addessed Constantine a begrudgingly grateful look before he felt the bile rise in his throat. He retched and coughed until all he felt he had left to spill was his own guts. He was vaguey aware of Ray's comforting presence, his palm drawing soothing circles over his back as he breathed in and out, waiting for the wave of nausea to pass.

“I got a question.” Mick stepped forward, took a sip from his beer and burped unceremoniously pointing the bottle towards Nate. “If Pretty Boy's knocked up, who's the baby daddy?”

Embarrassed looks were exchanged all around and Nate himself felt a surge of panic wash over himself.

Everybody's eyes were on him, like they expected him to confess some sordid affair that had left him to deal with obvious side effects.

“That is easily answered,” Constantine said with an annoyingly cheerful tone. “Who was in physical contact with Nathaniel when the curse was cast?”

Ray literally felt himself pale as his eyes darted up to meet Nate's. The look they shared would have been comic, hand't the situation been so deadly serious.

“Shit.”

*

“Nate? Come on, man, I know you're in there. Can we talk, please?”

It had been two days, now. Two days since Nate had staggered out of the library, bucket under his chin, and locked himself in his room refusing to let anyone in. He accepted the food Zari would bring to him three times a day, only to disappear behind his door again, cocooned in whatever had come down on him.

Ray had started feeling like Anna from Frozen, knocking and knocking on Elsa's door, receiving nothing but obstinate rejections. But he didn't give up. If Elsa wanted to be a stubborn idiot, he was going to be a stubborn sister. Brother. Whatever.

A sudden idea sparkled in his mind, and however silly it might be, he decided to give it a try.

“Nate?” he called with a knock. “Do you wanna build a snowmaaan?”

No response came from inside.

Ray sighed. He made to leave, when he heard the door unlock. Nate's horribly pale face surfaced from the dim light of his room, dark shades under his eyes.

“Really, dude? _Frozen_? You must be desperate.”

Ray couldn't help a bright smile. “I knew you couldn't say no to that!”

Nate didn't smile back. He shook his head and retreated back in his room without a word. He didn't close the door, though, which Ray happily interpreted as an invitation in.

He followed Nate inside and was actually surprised to find the plates of his meals empty and neatly piled up on top of one another over the trays Zari had left. Nate looked awful, but he hadn't been starving himself, at least.

 _That would be harmful for the baby_ , suggested a distant voice in his mind, and Ray felt a punch in his stomach.

The baby.

 _The baby_.

There was a baby. His baby. _His and Nate's baby_.

There had been so much going on he hadn't even had the time to think about it, let alone warp his head around it. It was a hard truth to accept, but despite the folly of it all, Ray wasn't as disturbed as one would have expected him to be. He wasn't the pregnant one, of course, so – easy for him to speak, but he was involved in this madness as much as Nate, not to mention the fact that he felt personally responsible for both of them – Nate and baby.

Nate was pacing the room with a tormented look. His hair was unusually touseld: he must have been running his hands through it a lot.

“Nate? Can we please sit down and maybe talk?”

“Talk? About what? I'm fucking pregnant. There's nothing to talk about.”

“Well, you're... technically pregnant with my kid, so... I feel like this is about me, too? A little?”

Nate stopped dead in his tracks and stared at Ray like he had never seen his face before. His forehead was creased and his eyes, however tired, bore a warmth that reached straight into Ray's soul.

“God, I'm so sorry, man. I'm so drenched in self-commiseration that I forgot-” Nate bit his lip and shook his head miserably. He rubbed his hands over his face with a sigh, then gave Ray a tentative look: “Are you- What- How do you feel about this?”

“Oh.” Ray was taken aback by the abrupt swtich of perspectives. “Well, I'm...” He frowned. “Not entirely sure, to be honest. We definitely didn't see this coming, but who could have?” He let out a small laugh. “ _Surprise_ doesn't even beging to describe the situation, huh? This is- this kinda... uh...”

“I know this wasn't meant to happen, okay?” groaned Nate. “There is no way this is _remotely_ okay to happen. But it's happening, and it's happening to _me_ , and none of you guys can really understand what I'm going through.”

“I suppose not.”

“Maybe it's not meant to be. Maybe it's just a fucked up lump of useless cells and it's going to abort itself within a few days. But what if it's not? What if there's a perfectly healthy human being in there? A kid with my brains or- or- or _yours_ , and your- your eyes, your kindness...” Nate trailed off. Unfortunately, he completely misinterpreted Ray's momentary speechlessness. “You think I'm insane.”

 _Insane_.

Ray wanted to laugh. _I think you're amazing_ , he thought, but what he heard himself utter was: “Not at all, bro.”

All he had felt during Nate's rambling was pride. And wild affection.

It would have been easy to give in to fear – and shame, perhaps – and end it all in a snap of Constatine's fingers. But Nathaniel Heywood wasn't that kind of person: his pecs may have been thick and distracting, but Ray hadn't missed the golden heart that beated underneath them.

“I can't do this, bro,” said Nate, almost apologetically. “I can't. I feel this too much.” Ray's heart stopped when he noticed Nate's hand protectively splayed over his stomach, the genuine passion flaring in his eyes as he spoke. “I can't let Constantine just wipe it away like it's nothing. It's _not_ nothing. It's _real_ , dammit!”

Ray detected a panic attack coming. He took Nate's face between his hands and tried to coax him into taking deep breaths. “Look at me, man. Look at me: breathe. In and out. Slooowly. In and out. Yeah, right there. Right there.” He smiled fondly as Nate's anxiety gradually subsided. “Listen to me, now,” he whispered, eyes locked with Nate's. “Nobody is going to make you do anything you don't want to do. _Nobody_. I swear.”

Nate nodded, ghosts of tears shimmering in his eyes. “I don't know, maybe I'm nuts but...” He grinned nervously, causing Ray's knees to go dangerously weak. “I think... I kinda want to keep it?”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. “ Ray moved his hands from Nate's face to his shoulders and squeezed encouragingly. “Okay. Let's keep it.”

He didn't miss the glimpse of joy that flickered across Nate's face at the implied commitment in his statement. He didn't miss the effect this had on himself, either. He felt... strangely elated. Also, this drastical closeness with Nate was making him feel things – inappropriate things that were completely out of place right now.

They were having a baby.

He and Nate were having a baby.

It sounded weirder than it actually felt. And it _was_ weird, just... not as much as Ray would have assumed at first. If he closed his eyes, he had no trouble imagining a mini Nathaniel toddling towards him with chubby hands reaching out, and perhaps bright blue eyes...

“You don't have to do this, you know?” Nate's uncertain voice broke Ray's daydream, along with his heart. “It's not your fault. Your... responsibility. It's not like you _owe_ me...”

Seeing Nate so uncomfortable and helpless was torture. Ray wanted to hug him, but he simultaneously wanted to slap him, _hard_ , for thinking he wouldn't _want_ to be a part of this journey.

“Yeah, right. It's not like the baby is made of both our DNAs. And even if it wasn't, why should I care, anyway? I don't give a damn about you, after all, do I?”

Mortified, Nate ducked his head. “That's- that's not what I meant.”

“I know. But it still hurt to hear.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Bro.” Without thinking, Ray took Nate's hands in his own and pulled him closer. “If you want to go through this... I'm in.”

Nate's features lit up with sheer, heart-crushing hope. “You're in?”

“All the way,” Ray promised, then pulled Nate into a tight embrace.

They'd done this countless times, yet this time everything was different. There was a promise being sealed with this hug. A promise to stick together and face whatever was coming no matter what.

Ray was vaguely aware of the ambiguous direction this could easly turn. He and Nate were friends – best friends, brothers, kindred spirits – but there was something else under the surface, and Ray felt it now more than ever – the familiar, aching tug deep in his chest, a stir of feelings he had never allowed himself to dwell on, and which was threatening to soon turn into a tidwave, whether he wanted it or not.

But he didn't want to mull over it now. Right now, all he wanted was this – was Nate.

Nate in his arms.

Nate's breath on his skin.

Nate's face nestled in the crook of his neck.

They stayed like this for a long, long while. Neither seemed to want or be able to let go.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I need to stress that this piece LITERALLY came out of nowhere. I'm usually not the biggest mpreg fan, but this is how the story came to me, so I didn't really have a say in this. I swear.  
> The second and final chapter will be up asap, pinkie promise. If you liked even a tiny bit of this, comments are much appreciated. (Also, please, bear with the typos, I don't have a beta and sometimes something escapes. Sorry!)


	2. I find my religion

Once past the first trimester milestone, things started to get a bit less freaky.

Everyone was excited, however bewildered, and Nate soon became a pampered chick in a nest of mother hens.

Ava was a sweetheart: she immediately allowed him to work from home (the Waverider) and made him promise he wouldn't hesitate to request anything that may make him more comfortable. Even Mick, who initially seemed to only want to tease, started leaving piles of sandwiches around the ship in Nate's immediate proximity, pretending to stroll around just to check if they'd been eaten, and chuckling triumphantly at the empty plates (which Ray had to collect in the most unthinkable corners).

Gideon had confirmed –  _several times_ – that the baby was in perfect shape (it hadn't inherited Haemophilia, much to everyone's relief) and the pregnancy wouldn't pose any threat to Nate's health, so,  _very slowly_ , Ray's blood pressure finally settled a little.

Not completely, though.

“Are you sure you truly want to do this?” he was asking for the millionth time as they headed down the hallway towards the med bay.

Nate proudly sported his now quite noticeable baby bump under one of Ray's hoodies (his own didn't fit any longer) and seemed blissfully oblivious to all the doubts and fears swarming in Ray's thoughts. He gave Ray an imperturbed sideway glance: “Yep. Pretty sure. You okay, man?

“Yeah, yeah. I just...” Ray huffed out a sigh. “This is totally uncharted territory we're wandering into, and if- if anything happened to you, I- I don't think I could- ”

Nate, not even remotely as distressed as Ray – seemingly not distressed  _at all – ,_ offered a reassuring rub on Ray's back. “Hey, come on. Nothing's gonna happen. Gideon says I'm fine. The baby is fine. Besides, Welsh Castiel has his witchy eye on me.” He patted his swollen stomach with a stupidly carefree grin. “We're good.”

“Are you seriously not even slightly troubled?”

“Why would I be?” Nate stopped and arched his brows. “I've got you. You make everything good for everyone, it's your superpower. Isn't that a parent's job, anyway?” he added, as if on a second thought. “Worrying? You can't care without worrying.”

“I guess not,” Ray had to agree. He liked the sound of it: he wasn't just being apprehensive, he was _caring._

“I want to be a good dad,” Nate went on, his focus lost somewhere distant as his hand cupped his bump. “I want this kid to know that he or she was loved and cherished every single moment of their life. They deserve it. Every kid deserves it.”

Every single fibre in Ray's being hurt under the weight of the real meaning under these words.

_I deserved it._

Nate's father hadn't been... exemplary. He had hurt his son in more ways than Ray could imagine, and it was only natural that Nate wished for a different environment for his own child.

And so did Ray.

He wrapped an arm around Nate's shoulder and patted the other over his chest. “If there's one thing I'm absolutely positive this kiddo is never gonna lack,” he said confidently. “That is a loving family.”

The smile that spread across Nate's lips did something to Ray's knees, that instantly turned into jelly.

“See? We've got it.”

_We do, apparently_ , Ray mused, and before he knew he was pulling Nate into a crushing hug. “I love you, pal.”

Nate leaned into him and let out an affectionate laugh. “Love you, too, you big mush ball.”

He didn't need to know Ray was going to turn those few words over and over in his head for the next few days.

*

The picture on the screen didn't make much sense.

Nate and Ray were staring at it with tilted heads and crinkled foreheads, trying to figure out what to make of it.

“Which part of the blur is supposed to be the head?” Ray asked, scowling at the lumpy nonsense before his eyes.

Lying on the med bay recliner, shirt rolled half-way up his torso to expose his sizeable belly to Gideon's ultrasound, Nate squinted at the picture once again: “I believe the head is that big circle with the dark spot in the middle. Right, Gideon?”

“Correct, Doctor Heywood.”

Ray wrinkled his nose in confusion. “Why is the rest of its body so... underdeveloped?” He sounded vaguely alarmed. “Where are the limbs?”

“The baby is curled over itself, Doctor Palmer. You'll be able to see its limbs as soon as it moves.”

“Is it normal that it hasn't been moving yet?” Nate glanced at Ray with wide eyes.

“At sixteen weeks along, you should start feeling movements any day, now, Doctor Heywood.”

Both he and Ray exhaled in relief. They knew absolutely nothing of babies and Gideon appeared to enjoy leading them in the discovery of this whole new world.

Truth to be told, Nate had caught Ray reading more than one book about pregnancy, but he wasn't sure that had turned out to be much helpful, what with pregnancies usually being encountered in females. Unfortunately, a lot of technicalities didn't apply to a male carrier.

One thing Nate had been right about, though: he was going to have to give birth through a C-section, which frankly was less frightening than thinking of pushing a small person out of himself.

“Would you like to know the gender?” Gideon offered, and Nate looked up at the ceiling with a firm _'No!'_ just at the same time Ray grinned and enthusiastically exclaimed _'Yes!'_.

“Oh.” Ray's face fell. It lasted less than a blink, after which he immediately regained his trademark cheerfulness: “It's okay. I don't mind waiting.”

Gratefulness and fondness took over Nate's unstable emotional state. Of course Ray would set his wishes aside for someone else's. He bumped a fist against Ray's arm, snickering at his outraged  _'Ouch!_ '. “Tell us, Gideon.”

“You and Doctor Palmer are having a girl.”

A stunned silence took over the med bay. Ray looked insanely moved: they had been thinking of the kid as a general, faceless gift coming into their life; knowing that there was a baby girl in there, getting ready to meet the world, made everything so much more tangible and real it was almost too much to bear. Nate caught Ray wiping a shy tear from the corner of his eye before it could escape. He squeezed Ray's hand excitedly, his attention glued to the unreadable picture on Gideon's screen, mouth open and a little stretched at the corners in a frozen hint of a smile.

A girl. A girl with maybe Ray's eyes and his beautiful heart... She was going to be the most precious little thing to ever exist.

“A girl,” he drawled in wonder. “Wow. What were the odds for two guys- ”

“You mean apart from conceiving at all?” Ray chuckled at Nate's amused snort. “In terms of pure theoretical genetics, twenty five percent, babe.”

Nate was bursting with pride. “She's as exceptional as it gets, uh?” He turned back to the screen – to his little girl: “Hey, Peanut!” he cooed. “This is Daddy Nate, and this overgrown puppy over here is Papa Ray.”

Nate hadn't even noticed they'd been holding hands until he felt Ray's grip tighten around his own fingers.

Ray sketched a sheepish smile, then glanced down, smile faltering a little. “Is this really okay with you?”

“I may have been a bit baffled, in the beginning, but this grew on me.” Nate giggled proudly at his own pun. “Can't say I ever considered having kids. After Amaya left, I couldn't even imagine I'd ever fall in love again, let alone have a family. Yet here we are. Sometimes fate really screws up things for the better.”

“I meant that this – this happened with me.”

Nate tore his eyes off the baby's shaky image to give Ray his full attention: he could see the trademark bubbly mask and, beneath it, through opening cracks, several shades of blue.

“Dude,” he said, dumbfounded. “Are you serious? You're my best buddy, not to mention the nicest person in the whole universe.” He was almost angry. Hell, he _was_ angry. Very passionately angry. “Peanut's lucky to have you as her father. _I_ 'm lucky to have you.”

The blue faded from Ray’s features, washed away by a humble flush. He brushed a knuckle over the corner an eye. “Sorry,” he muttered. “I must have a twig or something.”

Nate tilted his head smiled: “Or something.” Then he had a horrible dobut: “Does this bother _you_?” he asked, his heart shrinking. “You didn't even have a say in this. It just rained down upon you and I decided I wanted to keep it before you could even consider this...”

“No!” Ray interrupted brusquely. He looked outraged. “How can you say that? This is the most extraordinary thing to have happened to me! I'm happy, and _honoured_ , to share this experience with you!”

It came naturally for Nate to reach out and cup Ray's face in his hand to brush his cheekbone under his thumb. The movement painted a wet trail down Ray’s cheek. “You adorable softie.”

Ray leaned into Nate’s touch, eyes fluttering closed. There was a crease between his brows – something half peaceful, half sad; Nate’s instinct was to pull Ray down and envelop him in his arms, hold him close and  _feel him_ close…

But he couldn’t, could he? There were a number of reasons why he couldn’t – none of which he could remember, as of now, but… he was pretty sure you couldn’t cuddle your bro (with whom, incidentally, you were having a kid) just like that. There were boundaries in friendship, boundaries that even they, with their bromantically ambiguous relationship, couldn’t step over without screwing everything up.

_But sometimes we screw up things for the better?_

Afraid of his own feelings, Nate tucked these thoughts away into a dark corner of his mind and slowly retreated his hand. He told himself it was only a coincidence if his thumb skimmed over Ray’s parted lips in the process.

*

Ray had a series of pictures neatly aligned along the mirror in his room. They showed a mesmerising progress in the baby's development, and sometimes he needed to pluck one out and stare at it for a long while to convince himself this was actually happening.

Every single time, he ended up grinning like the smuggest idiot. This little one hadn't even arrived, yet, and he was already such a goner for her.

“Dude. You've been goggling at that stuff for five minutes straight.”

Ray tittered apologetically. “Sorry. It's so fascinating, watching her grow. It's happening much faster than I had imagined.”

Sprawled on Ray’s bed, only half interested in the Star Wars movie droning on the TV, Nate exhaled a sympathetic sigh. “Tell me about it.” He spread his hands over his belly and considered its size with a pout. “Sometimes I feel like- ” A loud  _‘Oof!’_ interrupted whatever he had been about to say.

Ray scrambled beside him in less than a blink. “What? What's wrong? Are you- ”

“I felt her.”

Ray’s breath caught in his throat. “You  _what?"_

“The baby! She just- she kicked, bro!”

“Whoa!”

“Gimme your hand.” Nate didn’t wait for Ray to comply; he grasped his hand and positioned it carefully where Ray could sense a tiny bulge. “Here. Wait for it... Wait for it... There!” He looked at Ray expectantly. “Did you- ”

Yes, Ray  _did_ . Of course he did, the kick had been so tangible it resonated deep inside him till the bottom of his heart. And there stayed. “Oh my god. Oh my god. That was a strong one! Way to go, girl!”

He could hardly believe it. They’d been anticipating this moment so much and now it felt so overwhelming to finally witness this: _the baby was_ _moving_.

In more than one sense, too, because Ray felt so moved he might start crying any moment. “This is amazing,” he breathed in sheer awe. And it was happening inside of Nate. And it wouldn’t be happening if Nate hadn’t been so brave and good-natured… “ _You_ ’re amazing.”

A fizzy bubble of touchy-feely-ness surrounded them as the kicking went on, here and there, just as real as it was incredible.

“I think it’s a foot,” Nate said, palming the spot where the kicks were more definite. “Ow! This kid is intense.”

“Did it hurt?”

“No, just… I guess I just need to get used to this. I wonder if women are so unsettled by this stuff, too. It's really bizarre to have someone swimming in your stomach.”

And it was, indeed. But Nate also felt oddly mighty, knowing he was the first man – probably – to carry a child. He loved his little girl and, with hindsight, he thanked the incompetent witch for the priceless gift she had given, however unintentionally, to him and Ray.

Nate chuckled, feeling another stir under his palm. “We've got a lively one, here.”

Ray bent forward and, placing a hand over Nate’s, said to the bump: “Hey there, buddy? We’re glad you’re doing so great, but give Daddy a break, okay?”

Nate relaxed into the bunch of pillows behind him and grinned: “If she's anything like her Papa, she's going to be the death of me in the next few months.” His fingertips tickled the kicking spot. “Right, Peanut?”

A long pause of contemplation followed, during which both of them just basked in the magic of the moment. Then, casually, Ray said: “I wouldn't mind a nerdy kid. You know? Books and cuddles and endless bed time stories?”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I mean, I'll love her all the same, but I'd like it if she turned out just like you.”

Nate sniffled. “Don't make me cry, dude.”

“Sorry.” Ray ducked his head, and Nate teased him: “Your Papa is an old sap, kid. And I love him for it.”

Their eyes met across a tangle of emotions too intricated to unravel. There was a sense of something unfulfilled lingering in the air between them, something too blatant to ignore but too scary to acknowledge.

Ray's attention fell on Nate's excruciatingly close mouth and darted back to his eyes again, finding them dark and fervent. A tingle of electricity tickled the hair at the nape of Ray's neck, igniting a blazing need below his navel. He felt like his heart was pulsing in his throat.

Was Nate feeling the same as he did? Had it become so hard to breathe for him, too?

The burning way he was looking at Ray suggested that maybe...  _Perhaps..._

Ray's head dared the tiniest move forward just as Nate's did toward him. They barely had the time to wonder what was going on, when a rough knock on the door froze them an inch from whatever had been about to happen.

“Hey, Haircut! Get Pretty’s ass down to the kitchen. Blondie had whole farm cooked for him!”

Nate's eyes caressed Ray's lips for a brief second (and Ray was quite positive it was the most erotic thing he had ever experienced) then locked into Ray's as he answered: “Thanks, Mick. On our way.”

Ray wanted to say something –  _do something_ – but all he could think of were stupid, reckless things he feared he would regret. So he just stood up, blushing furiously, and offered Nate a hand to pull him up. He simply refused to ask himself what could have happened hadn't Mick arrived to pop their bubble.

*

Nate waddled down to the kitchen complaining about the pain in his back and how stupid he felt, wobbling like a duck. All of this beaming in the most contradictory way ever.

Ray’s heart was warm and full of… things. Confusion, mostly, but also happiness, and fulfilment, and a strange, haunting longing crawling under his skin that he couldn’t explain. It grew fiercer when he was with Nate.

Nate entered the kitchen making a show, hands on his back, suffering grunt, and all. “Everybody move, I'm pregnant!”

Ray shook his head amusedly walking in after him, hands in his pockets.  _Clown_ , he laughed to himself while helping Nate ease down into the closest chair.

It felt good, sitting here with him, shoving piles of beans and vegetables into his plate despite the complaints, lecturing him about the importance vitamins and proteins and getting whiny groans in return.

“Married couple,” coughed Zari over a half-chewed forkful of salad.

Everybody laughed.

Ray didn't.

It felt good.

It felt right.

He and Nate together –  _married couple_ style – felt  _damn_ right.

And he didn't know what to do with this new piece of information.

*

They were late for the dinner at the Time Bureau.

The door to Nate’s room was open, so Ray walked in, ready to inquire about the delay, but he paralised on the spot two steps in: Nate was standing in front of the full mirror in his room, struggling to fix something around his middle.

And he was  _shirtless._

Ray couldn’t help taking in the generous display of pectorals and biceps, and stared for way too long, mouth dry, before he had the decency to manifest his entrance with a discreet cough. “Ready, pal?”

Nate turned and looked up. The item in his hand was a black elastic band. “Yeah, sorta.” He cracked a self-conscious half smile. “I'm trying to figure out this damn thing. Ava gave it to me for my backache, but it's not making any damn difference.”

“It's too loose,” Ray noted. “And you're supposed to wear it lower.”

“ _Of course_ you'd know how this stuff works.” Why was Nate making it sound like it was something extraordinary? Hadn’t he read _What to expect when you’re expecting_?

“It's a maternity belt. It supports the weight of the baby and relieves your spine, if placed correctly.”

Nate pulled at the two ends of the belt and groaned in frustration when he failed to make them stay attached. “I'm sorry, this is awkward.” He tried to turn his back to Ray. “If it creeps you out, I can- ”

Ray made him turn around again with a puzzled look: “What are you talking about? Why would I be creeped out?”

Nate glanced down meaningfully on himself. “I look... gross.”

Ray gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. “You look pregnant, my friend. Exceptionally ripped, I must say, but still pregnant,” he commented, then took the belly band from Nate's hand and positioned himself behind his back to help him fix it around his waist.

“I read adjustable ones are the best,” he chatted, fingers working over Nate's bare skin to stretch the band to the right extent. “Too tight?”

Nate, oddly stiff against him, cleared his throat uneasily before answering: “It's- it's okay.”

The room suddenly felt too hot. Ray's lips inadvertedly brushed over Nate's naked shoulder as he strapped the band's ends into place. He felt a shiver crawl down Nate's spine and echo straight into his own, along with a thrill of pride. His baby was in there. He could feel her, nestled under his palms, growing safely in the tender cradle of Nate's belly.

His hands didn't seem to respond to his command to leave Nate's waist. Maybe it wasn't the room, after all. Maybe it was their body heat and the dangerous closeness to give Ray the impression there was fire in his veins.

Somehow he didn't realise Nate's hands were moving until he felt his fingers intertwine with his own. Nate let his head rest back on Ray's shoulder and hummed blissfully, a sound that caused an abrupt surge of arousal within Ray's loins.

With a clench in his stomach – and not an unpleasant one – he had three wonderful seconds to soak in the pleasure of this simple piece of domesticity, marvelling in the instant awareness that he could easily –  _happily_ – get used to this...

His cheek brushed against Nate's, a soft, devoted caress that elicited a contented sigh.

Much to his horror, Ray felt his cock stir in his pants.  _Against Nate's ass._

Nate inhaled a sharp breath and Ray, now very aware of the twist things had started to take, hastily withdrew his hands, taking a quick step back.

“We should probably...”

Nate nodded, not daring to look at him. He was red up to his ears. “Yeah, we should probably...”

Ray held the door for him and escorted him to the portal downstairs, where the others were waiting.

His pants felt unbearably tight.

*

Comfortably ensconced on a half-dozen cushions, Nate was spooning ice cream from a bowl he had perched on top of the mound of his belly, a smudge of chocolate above his lip and a satisfied expression plastered across his face. He looked so... serene, like nothing in the world could possibly perturb this state of perfect peace.

Ray stared, mesmerised, heart bursting with... something he couldn't quite place. It took Nate a while to acknowledge his presence.

“Hey!” He greeted, lighting up like a Christmas tree, like all he'd been waiting for was for Ray to show up, and Ray felt so overwhelmed with fondness he felt himself tear up a little.

Nate. His Nate. His buddy. His brother. His… co-parent?

There was no one in the world as important as Nate in his life. And it wasn’t because he was carrying his child, he realised, because this had begun much earlier than the curse and everything that had followed. Nate had been his everything for a very long time when the witch had thrown them this peculiar curve ball. The pregnancy had just given them an excuse to spend even more time together, to walk and sit and lie even closer, to be all over each other all the time without even needing to wonder why on earth they seemed to be drawn to one another like magnets…

And then it hit him.

His mouth went dry. The universe started vibrating under his feet and suddenly something in the delicate fabric of reality gave in and tore, causing a significant shift in the balance of the cosmic order.

Nate noticed his state of daze and cast him a questioning look: “You okay, bud?”

Ray's jaw dropped as the most obvious of truths dawned upon him like the moon coming out of a cloud.

"I love you."

"Sorry, what was that?"

“I- I love you. As in... _in love with you_.” Ray grinned like an idiot, though he wasn't sure why. He was astounded, _shocked_ by how blind he had been, how oblivious of his own heart… Then his face fell, because he realised Nate’s gaping mouth hadn’t uttered a sound, yet. “Please, say something,” he begged, hoping with every fibre of his being he hadn’t just ruined the most beautiful thing he’d ever had for a hopeless dream.

In response, Nate let his head fall back on the cushion behind his neck and broke into a glowing, goofy smile.  “I kinda just wanna kiss you, right now,” he confessed, giggling a little. “But I can't physically get my ass off this damn couch.”

Ray couldn’t remember his own name. The world was spinning and he must be hallucinating, because he’d just heard Nate say he wanted Ray to kiss him, which was absolutely preposterous and – and… too good to be true?

“Ray?” urged Nate impatiently, tapping the empty spot beside him. “You gonna come here and kiss me or what?”

Ray jumped in surprised. “Of course!” he exclaimed, maybe a bit too fervently. “Yeah, I- I'm-”

He slumped next to Nate and shivered when Nate slid his hand behind his neck. The sound of his heartbeat was deafening in his ears. Breathless, he tentatively took Nate’s chin between his fingers, every muscle in his body tense in anticipation.

There was just a moment of uncertainty they used to absorb each other’s closeness, then, languidly, they shifted closer, and closer, until their faces were just a breath apart. And then they weren’t.

Ray brushed a soft, experimental peck over Nate’s eager lips, then another, and another, light little touches that sent bolts of pleasure down his whole body – and by the way Nate was shuddering, he wasn’t any less involved himself.

He and Nate had hands all over each other. The sound of their kissing was heaven. Ray sucked and nipped and licked, and every sigh, every moan coming from Nate's throat boosted his desire for more.

“Should we...” he panted in between kisses. “Maybe...” Kiss. Kiss. “Slow down?”

When Nate finally pulled back, he was breathing hard and his pupils were blown. He gazed into Ray's eyes in a way that made him feel like the most important, precious person in the universe. “Okay,” he panted. “Okay, let's... Fuck, man, that was _hot_!”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Nate leaned in to steal another kiss. “So hot. Thank you for being brave enough to make the first move, by the way,” he added. “You have no idea how long I'd wanted to... _all of this_.”

“Is this really happening?” Ray asked cautiously. “Are we really _mutually_ in this?”

“If by _this_ you mean _in love_ , that's a solid yes, pal.”

Ray exhaled a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. It felt... insanely liberating to hear. Ray felt like he could, at last, drop a disguise he'd been wearing for the sake of common peace.

He was free. Free to live his feelings for Nate openly and transparently.

“So,” Nate inched close to him again, a hand venturing up his thigh. “Where were we?”

Ray gulped, arousal flaring in his groin. “W- weren't we supposed to slow down?”

“Oh, Raymond,” Nate smirked. “I could _slowly_ do this all night.”

*

It turned out that being officially romantically involved didn't make much difference, after all.

When they broke the news to the team, their reaction was so mild it was clear they had been expecting it for a while (especially since Mick didn't even try to be subtle when he handed Zari a twenty dollar bill just under everybody's nose – which Sara should have reprimanded, hadn't she been too busy passing Ava her own twenty dollars).

Shenanigans apart, Nate felt pathetically self-satisfied, complete, cocooned in a fuzzy cloud of bliss that, he had soon realised, grew softer and thicker when he was with Ray. And the funniest thing was that that could had always been there – comforting, reassuring... he simply had been too naïve to recognise it for what it was: love.

Love for Ray. Love for his companions. Love for the life he had built with them, one day at a time. He wouldn't have wanted things to go any differently.

As the ninth month approached, everyone started getting a bit overprotective. Nate could hardly go to the toilet on his own. Gideon had determined it would be best to schedule the C-section for the thirty-sixth week, so they decided to  _borrow_ a surgeon from the XXIV century (where, apparently, male pregnancy had become fairly popular). Constantine provided the hypnosis that convinced the doctor he was performing on one of his patients and Ava took care of the memory wipe and consequent restoration of the good man to where and when he had been picked up.

Nate opened his eyes to find himself in Ray's room, in his bed, surrounded by a jungle of flowers and rainbow balloons. In the middle of it stood Ray, a white bundle nestled in the crook of his arm – too tiny, compared to Ray's  _everything_ –, mumbling a song in a low, soothing voice.

In his muffled haze, Nate smiled with his chest full of love and relief. He felt weak and aching all over, but it didn't matter. She was fine. Peanut was here and was  _fine._

“Are you singing _Nothing Else Matters_ as a lullaby to our daughter?”

Ray's head snapped up from the religious contemplation he'd been immersed in, the most idiotic, gigantic smile stretching his lips from ear to ear. “Hey!  How are you feeling?”

With a considerable effort, Nate pulled himself up into a half sitting position. “Sore,” he admitted with a whimper. “Exhausted.” Then his face changed from pained to a full, touched smile: “Ridiculously happy.” Ray sat down at his side and let him take a look at the wee, pink face peaking from the white folds: she was fast asleep, her minuscule eyelids peacefully closed. “Look at her, man: she's perfect.”

“She is,” agreed Ray, placing the baby into Nate's waiting arms, his large hand gently cupped under the small head. He was the living picture of fatherly love.

For a few minutes, Nate became quite incapable of functioning normally: his system shut down, turning him into a useless mush. He felt so humbled in front of such a beautiful, incredible sight – and he had made it!

He had a daughter. He and Ray had a daughter. A perfect little thing with mini balled up fists and the cutest rosy pout the world had ever seen. Nate had to blink a couple of times and swallow to dissipate the watery mist that had gathered in his eyes.

“We didn't pick a name,” he sniffled. Was he crying? He probably was.

Ray's arm encircled him. He dropped a kiss against Nate's temple and almost made him cry again. “What do you like?”

Nate hadn't really thought about it. They hadn't discussed names because Mick had said it was bad luck and Nate hadn't wanted to agitate Ray any further. But here they were, now: baby in their arms and a lot of catching up to do.

Nate was about to suggest they put off the conversation to another time, when he remembered something. “I had a dream, a couple of months ago. You and I playing in a park with this little girl who looked just like you with pigtails.” Ray started an 'Aaaw!' but Nate cut him off: “No, I'm serious, man: she looked  _exactly_ like you, but with pigtails. It was creepy.”

Ray laughed, and Nate with him. One thing he had been serious about, though: “We were calling her Gracie.”

“Gracie.” Ray pondered the name while observing the baby intently. “Grace. I like it.”

“It suits her, doesn't it? Grace Heywood-Palmer. ”

It did. It had quite a ring to it: Princess Gracie; General Gracie; Doctor Gracie...

 _Legend Gracie_.

Ray stroked the few strands of thin hair on her head and smiled softly. “Welcome on board, Gracie.”

*

Sara wouldn't give up Gracie. She'd stolen her from Ray's lap and had been holding her for half an hour, refusing to let anyone have her. Even Ava couldn't convince her to desist.

“She's so cute and tiny!” she was cooing delightedly. “She's so soft I want to crush her!”

“Someone please take my daugther from the Captain,” Nate begged, not entirely joking. Sara still cast him an amused smirk. And didn't let go of Gracie.

Ray had never had so many people in his room. It had never felt so small... and so much like home.

While everybody was busy arguing over who was going to hold Gracie next, he went to sit next to Nate on the bed.

“So it begins,” he said wistfully.

Nate, eyes sparkling, nodded. “One hell of a ride awaits us.”

“I want us to do this together.”

Nate made a confused face: “Aren't we already?”

“No, I mean... _properly_ together.” Ray blushed and Nate's eyes went wide in comprehension.

“Raymond Carson Palmer, are you trying to say you want to make an honest man out of me?”

“What if I was?”

“We gotta be real, man,” Nate shook his head. “We can't get married. I'm not gonna fit into a wedding dress any time soon.”

Ray's tension melted into a low giggle. “I doesn't have to be now. I just want to make sure you know I'm not going anywhere. Unless you ask me to,” he added hastily.

Nate scoffed: “Yeah, not gonna happen.”

Ray sat quietly, hands fidgeting with each other. His whole family was in this room: his best friends; his child; his love. He had his whole world within arm's reach. How many people could say that?

“So,” he turned to Nate and nudged him with a shoulder. “What do you say?”

“Well, someone's gotta help you spend your billions,” said Nate, returning the nudge flirtatiously. He grabbed Ray's collar and pulled him down into a kiss. “Right?”

“You can have everything you want in the world,” Ray mumbled in a daze, his lips still lingering over Nate's, who chuckled low in his throat.

“Don't be silly, Raymond," he said, and kissed Ray again, and again. “I already have that.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, here we are. It's done. I filled this story with so much fluff I almost feel sick... almost. I have the most pathetic weakness for soft Steelatom and I think you can easily tell.  
> If you liked this even a little, comments are treat to poor, hungry writers, so, please, do share your opinion.  
> Who knows, maybe this isn't my last Steelatom inspiration.


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